Friday 20 March 2015

Powerpoint

Along with all the real work that I'm meant to be getting on with, today I realised that I'm supposed to have submitted the powerpoint slides for my portion of our quarterly presentation to our branch manager today.

I haven't.

I did try very hard to do so, however. All in all I think I probably pulled together a good half-dozen slides. And when I say good what I really mean is below standard.

I tried to work out how to draw up some easy graphs to explain how great things I've done are.

I couldn't work out a way. For a moment I even wavered and considered that maybe the things I do aren't as great as I think.

Nah.

So I decided to put a funny picture on a slide and just talk to it.

I was surprised to find that there are no funny pictures left on the Internet.

Nope. I've seen and shown them all.

So I ended up dazzling with screenshots (yawn) and raw numerical data (snooze).

At this point I'm thinking the only interesting thing I'm going to have in my part of the presentation will be if I can convince all the team leaders to stand in the cupboard and run in and out of the presentation.

Oh, whatever. It will so be fun.

I'm beginning to think that Powerpoint is a bit like Excel. I know that back when they first came out they were miraculous and ground-breaking and allowed people to do things that either couldn't be done, or would take some serious moolah to do, but now they just exist as the bane of my life.

Maybe I could just pin a poster to the wall and trick people into staring at that instead? Or pre-record my session and not worry about checking in for the presentation at all.

Ohhhh yes. Girl, I like the way that you think.

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